Thanks for yournote. Trying to get attention is one of the hallmarks of healthy attachment and connects. When wanting "attenion" parents odten provide it on rheir terms, in their time etc, leaving a kid with little choice than to escalate, which only distances thwm and makes them punitive.

"wanting sttention" is often seen as "faking it," which is a way to shut the kid down . Your description of your system with your daughter

Interesting for a piece and the responses would be interesting. Thanka for taking the time mmm