thanks for your note. You are right. There was a sense of melancholia in the piece. Some of it is from the fact that I have suffered from deep recurrent depressions for many years (I am 73 now) In fact, my husband's betrayal came from years of "taking care" of me. I see now what a heavy load it was and was a major mitigating factor in his infidelity (my therapist was very helpful in this regard). Some of my melancholy comes from finally letting go of my hard driving, education, child, post doc, professor, consultant therapist--I can control everything if I just try hard enough. Even with this disruption in my marriage I have had a sense that if we try hard, we can "go back" but I'm learning that you never really go back--you pick up the pieces and let yourselves "unfold." It makes me sad to accept that. At the same time the sorrow is mixed with joy--in that I am somehow in a place that reflects what Ive learned from adversity. and the fact that as I get older my depressive episodes are far fewer/

I appreciate your insights martha