PD Very thought provoking. Dealing with the agony (and it is agony)of infidelity, your categorization of Number threes was very helpful. When some one introduces more pain than you ever thought possible, it is hard to give and receive empathy.

When anofher woman is chosen--planned to marry, she becomes the elephant in the room that makes you confront your marriage, and not just. the broken recond of infidelity. The hard part is that there were men in my life to whom I was very attracted and I stayed a way because of my commmitment to my marriage, Now that we are in the midst of divorce from a 43 year old marriage, he is moving away, they are getting married, it feels that he's walking away with all the marbles. But I have to say, there is a pained look on his face and

a recent statement close to tears that said

I'm so sorry I hurt you like this. Definite number three. martha