Just thinking of you staring at papers is like a shot to my heart.I don't know how you get to be friends. I had to go through a period of Not being friends. There was no communication. His family (45 year marriage) withdrew from me, but worse from my daughter.

Some people in my family hated my husband despite the fact that they had been close. Going through the process helped me move into another phase where I had minimal contact. My daughter who was very hurt had a little contact with him, the more. Its still strange with the families and Ive had to carve out those relationships that are possible. I still mourn the past. I think I always will, but take time now to think about you want for your future and give yourself time to figure out what you want your relationship to be. I found that "time out" which for me was a few years, so difficult because I had to claim what I wanted at a time when all I felt was loss. I wish you well--in your mourning and your new beginning martha