Jennifer-- you have my thoughts in the loss of your sister. The thing I am learning as I continue to commit my sister to memory, is that my memories are so fluid--influenced as much by what has happened since her death than before it. When her husband left her, I remember my sisters and I having lunch with her. She started crying and kept saying "I feel like such a failure."

We married and widowed women rushed in to take that feeling away. But years later, when my husband left me, that afternoon came back so vividly-- and that "I feel like such a failure resonated in such a different way. My memories of her are molded by my experiences past her. It is such an awesome experience. martha