bonnie-- I had a professor who used to say "We are locked in violent agreement. " We zoomed in on the whole mess from different perspecitives. Mine was from the total :id" of my reaction. Immediate, impusive, out of control, but thinking I am in control and most of all, despair and anarchy as a result. Because my "ego" is aware thet this sitution grows and feeds itself again and. and again. Money, power, values, over reacting to everything and underreacting to critical.

I am afraid. Deeply afraid. The spectee of Jan 6 daunts me daily. Often for me, there's the horror, and then there's something even beyong horror when I see the reaction to the horror.

You are right, In a perfect world" was ironic--

I dont believe in a perfect one. or even an OK world. I believe in good people. In so many ways,, we are like the impotent cops who I'm sure didnt want to have kids die, but stood helplessly, supidly with their commonsense frozen as the followed the idiocy of their leaders. I dont want to compare myself, just yet, but we are immobililized as well. I have trouble these past years, by trusting

institutions. When does our citizenship mean we take back our control. It's a tough question because it is what I hate is happening now

"public citizens gone bad and wild. What do other citizens do? Im raising it. I have no idea

So, Bonnie, thanks for your posts. I think you ideas are ones that will hit people over different times.

I think we are locked in violent agreement.

Forgive typos, cant find my reading glassses

Martha