There are similarities between now and then, but the biggest difference is me — As a psychologist who spent hundreds and hundreds of hours listening to stories of the gradual unspooling or the explosions of relationships, I should have known better. As a spectator in the front row in the coliseum of betrayal. Of cruelty, of fighting to the death, or limping away from…

They are both her legacy. — Grandmother types I am two months away from being a grandmother. I am over the moon about it. I am not the stereotypical “grandmotherly” type. Neither was my mother. She didn’t have play tea parties or give my daughter those girly-girl type of dresses with little ruffled socks (that I have to…

Knowing the ways it influences our thinking can help with the inevitable blow to our confidence — Trouble For three years, I could have been the anti-Covid poster girl. I vaccinated. I boosted. I developed an acute sense of what constituted six feet between me and anything. I masked. I avoided. I rubbed my hands raw from obsessive antiseptics. I was perfect. And then, when it felt like…

“Shit by mail” is no picnic either — It’s time I was visiting my doctor because I had bronchitis, which anatomically speaking, is located quite far from the colonic bowel region. I was dismayed, therefore, when she said, “You’re overdue for another colonoscopy.” “What? Overdue? That’s not possible!” “I need more than one?” “Yes, you do. At your age, every…

What one patient taught me about how relentless control is only one of the ways we can manage our lives Rachel fights cancer Rachel was the first person with cancer I treated in psychotherapy. We worked together through a couple of surgeries and chemotherapies, and the gut-wrenching recurrences. I was a young therapist…

I can use a gun to protect some piece of crap in my back yard, but I can’t use a couple of pills to preserve my life. — Disaster This country is facing one of the most dramatic assaults on women’s bodies and minds in centuries. This violence varies with state legislature, geography, and a complete lack of compassion and respect for woman to make cogent decisions about themselves. The pale, self-righteous, holier than thou legislators know more than…

My rocky relationship with “Lucky” is a combination of cursing and unconditional acceptance — Coming apart After a 43-year marriage, and a 5-year separation, my husband and I divorced this year. He crushed me. I thought we were happy. But over the separation, I realized that while he was the low-down snake who cheated on me, I was not perfect either. Those lessons are hard to…

Change keeps creeping up and biting me in the ass — Five years ago, my husband kicked me to the curb with a quick, “I’m in love with someone else and I’m leaving you.” For 43 years he had been a pretty good husband and father. And then, BAM! He devastated me. He betrayed me and my faith in a good…

You can’t always give what she wants, but you just might find how to give what she needs — I am finally going to be a grandmother Getting older has always been fine with me, as long as I had a line of progeny. This, of course, is a big lie. I hate growing older. It sucks big time: when your knees forget that they are there for more than making your legs look funny. when your…