Except When I Wasn’t — What did I know? As a clinical child psychologist before I became a mother, I had some pretty screwy ideas about what constituted good parenthood. For example, a 5-year-old staged a “throw down” in protest of being told “No” by his mother. Her face was red as she related the story, which unfolded in…

Blueberry Pancakes, Divorce…Can’t Anything Just Stay the Same? — The Stateside Deli closed this weekend. There was no notice. Not even for the staff. I don’t know if notice would have mattered. But my reaction says it would. It was our Stateside Deli for 10 years. Every single Monday morning. I had the blueberry pancakes, occasionally fried eggs. He…

From infancy to adulthood, my daughter’s clothes tell me who she is The final month of pregnancy was thankless. There was so much to do — none of it having to do with being a mother. I had just passed my Ph.D. comprehensive exams and was facing the daunting task…

I am an expert in helping my students and patients with their problems and woefully inept at dealing with myself — The thermostat is working too hard on this rainy afternoon. My 12 doctoral students look like they are close to sleep, and with 2 hours and 45 minutes into my marathon seminar, it would be well deserved. “Oh Dr. Manning, have a heart!” James complains. “That’s the problem, isn’t it?”…

I’d Rather Skip the Doctor and Suffer If I Didn’t Have To Type My Life Story — Technology sucks I’m sick. And cranky. Fortunately I got an appointment with a real living, breathing doctor this afternoon. But the prerequisite is that I have to “find my patient portal and update it.” Did I say I’m sick? When you’re sick, it’s hard enough to find your car keys, than it…

“I cried when I wrote this song. Sue me if I play too long.” Steely Dan — Books I pull Dad’s rolling desk chair to the recliner. It is 92 degrees out. You are wrapped in a maroon felt blanket like a shroud. You are so still.” Golden Girls” is on. You love that show. I resent it. Four women frolic through their very golden years. You are…

It’s not like you can’t spare them. — All right. It’s been sort of a suck month where writing is concerned. I was just talking to myself the other day and I said, “Self, I think your writing is falling off. People aren’t even deigning to extend their index fingers to give it a go. No expectations. No…

Give it your attention and you’ll see what it means for your life — Sorrow is a sure bet It’s clear evidence that we’re alive. The pain it brings is the dividend we pay for being connected, active, and bursting with love and wonder. Sorrow is not depression. Some of the feelings may be the same, but depression is a collection of symptoms that reflect problems in many areas…

I thought kids and animals naturally liked each other! Boy was I wrong! — Midget- My first, boring dog I was born into pet ownership. Midget, who was ironically a rather large dog, welcomed me indifferently upon my arrival home from the hospital. My mother recalled that once I was settled into my cradle, Midget sniffed all around the nursery, and then proceeded to ignore me for the next…